Much Better Week

It has been a much better week since my last rant and spew session. At least it feels better. Hope everyone had a great Labor day weekend and did something enjoyable. Rich and I went to the beach today.... A beach in Southern California. Seems like the only time we go to the beach anymore is when we are in New Jersey or Hawaii. We have beeeaaautiful beaches here in the O.C. Califia in San Clemente, easy parking if you are early, narrow beach but a FAMILY beach. I didn't have to put blinders on my hubby when the ladies (if you can call some of them ladies) have all their cheeks showing while running down the beach like Bo Derek in 10.

Michael, finally called seems he is a little short in the wallet from not working full time when he was visiting Meghan three times a day or more in the hospital and he did not pay his phone bill. We finally heard from him and it was such a big relief. And yes, I want to go into Mom mood and send him a check.... but he is going to Hawaii with us in two weeks and it will be all expenses paid by Dad. His metal state would best be described as "adjusting". We are hoping a trip to the Islands will be good for his spirit.

Jeff is happy in his new pad in Long Beach. He stopped by tonight and it was good to see him.

Last Wednesday was a good day here on the Island... I had three friends from High School here for Lunch. Nancy, whom lived across the street from me on Garlingford in Costa Mesa. I think I was in the third grade when we moved in across the street from each other. Diane, whom I have known since my first day of middle school and Donna, who went to school with Nancy and I at Killybrook Elementary. I will get the camera card out and put up some pictures in the next day or two. Sometimes it just feel good to catch up. It has been along time since our Annie Green Springs Boons Farm days... Love you ladies we have a history!

Some things just continue to be the way they were and the way they will be. My mom and the mess at her house can still only be described as a big MESS. Is it bad when your own mom thinks of her oldest daughter the way she would think of an x- husband? She does not want to hear what I have to say when it comes to Cassie. She does not want to be accountable or held to any standards and she does not want to be questioned on her crazy ass parenting skills and mental well being of teenagers. And to boot her health stinks but she ignores it.

The scrapbook ladies last Wednesday and Thursday had me rolling in the isles with laughter - which is so good for the body and mind. Julie V, wants to start a magazine called Tired Old Hags. We sit and come up with articles that we think would be beneficial to women, moms, wives. Someone starts with a funny line or article and before long everyone is jumping in and we are laughing at ourselves.... Here is one such article we plan to write immediately and need some extra help - if you think of anything let me know by email or a comment....

FOODS THAT LIE

Smart Water drinking it does not make you smarter

Wheat Thins eating these crackers will not make you thin

Slim Fast the only thing Fast here is how fast your hunger returns after you drink or eat their food

Skinny Cow this is ICE CREAM Skinny NOT

the above funnies were provided by my own observations on the first two.. Julie C, on Slim Fast and Lia on the Skinny Cow. We feel it is our right as consumers to no longer mislead the eating public with these misleading food titles... Be on the look out in your market and if you find any others let us know and we will get the food police and the FDA right on it.

Like a virtual game on the computer right now the TOH magazine is only in theory and the talking stages. Sure is some darn funny stuff.

We are thinking of some possibilities for good t-shirts and bumper slogans as well.

Today sitting on the beach I said to Rich - I feel like I am living a Jimmy Buffett song. If you know his music you know I mean. This happens to be my favorite Jimmy song right now.

Trip Around The Sun

Jimmy Buffett

Trip Around The Sun
By Al Anderson/Steve Bruton/Sharon Vaughn
(with Martina McBride)

Here I’m singin’ happy birthday
Better think about the about the wish I make
This year gone by ain’t been a piece of cake
Everyday’s a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun

CHORUS

I’m just hangin’ on while this old world keeps spinning
And it’s good to know it’s out of my control
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all this livin’
Is that it wouldn’t change a thing if I let go

No you never see it comin’
Always wind up wonderin’ where it went
Only time will tell if it was time well spent
It’s another revelation
Celebrating what I should have done
With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun

CHORUS

I’m just hangin’ on while this old world keeps spinning
And it’s good to know it’s out of my control
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all this livin’
Is that it wouldn’t change a thing if I let go

INSTRUMENTAL

Yes I’ll make a resolution
That I’ll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride

Revolution, Revelation and my favorite above. RESOLUTION... that I'll never make another one.... Get it my Resolution is not to make a resolution but to just enjoy the trip around the sun. Which I am thinking means you make a trip around the sun everyday as the WORLD turns.... Oh my time for bed this is all getting way to profound for me... Remember to live your dash.

Life goes on...

Yep, it seems to be going on all around me. July was a difficult month and August - did August even happen? It went by so very fast. Have not felt much like blogging, or sharing. Sad mostly I feel sad. Sad that people have to be selfish and self centered. That as a society most people just don't care about you, your life or much else. Just another dumb human taking up my space. My space at the market, on the freeway, at a restaurant. EXCUSE ME! and accidents are a thing of the past. You just know the person did whatever the offense was on purpose. Don't even try and explain anything to anyone you don't know personally or they look at you like you have antennas' and a third eye in the middle of your forehead. I don't want to be a whiner right now... but then again I want to whine so much and scream at what I feel are little injustices in my life and those around me. We all have them. Truly, I want to bury my head under my pillows and come up for air sometime next year.

Why... Jeff had a little (very little) not even what I would call a fender bender the other day and within 5 days his insurance adjuster calls says the lady (which is really just a whore in another way) is suing you. Here are the facts as I know them. Jeff looked down at the GPS to see what off ramp he needed to get off at, traffic on the 91 by the 605 was stopped. He rolled into the car in front of him breaking a piece of plastic off of his Scion (as you know these Scions are like air and will dent in heavy dew) and her car had no damage..... OH BUT she was Asian with an accent - told Jeff she was FINE, in broken english as she here's the ring of a slot machine paying off in her ears.. (money money money JACKPOT). NOW tells the insurance company Jeff was going 60 MPH when he plowed into her.... UGH.. all the ugly nerve of people like her, it is a good thing I don't know who she is or I would trim her bushes... REALLY... does she not believe in science YOU CAN NOT BE GOING 60 MPH hit a stopped object and not have DAMAGE to the vehicles... where did she go to high school

- YOUNG DUMB DANG!

Maybe I should not be spewing but today is my day to COMPLAIN and SPEW hoping this will all make me feel better.... ! not working yet. Then there is this little issue with my niece CASSIE. The one who stole money from my mom is having sex with a boy who has a man penis and no brain to back it up, killed the cat and basically at 15 does what ever she wants and my mom lets her because she is FRAGILE.... Today I was informed she is cutting her self... SELFISH... of course my mom will not call me back. Oh and next Cassie will be putting my mom in her grave. GOD WHY? I say intervention NOW... I guess this is my way of telling my mom and the world these people need HELP...! Mom call me you are 73 and doing the best any senior citizen can do with teenagers and 5 to 7 other people living in your house. This is what happens when there are no boundaries. Guess who gets to clean up the mess if my mom has a stroke and dies... ME.... is that not selfish my mom would expect me to clean up her mess when she dies but she won't do it herself NOW.

Then there is our Michael Paul.. the kid at 28 has been through so much and grieving. Tomorrow is Meghans 28th birthday. Going to be a very hard day. We must have 6 to 8 calls into the guy - we just want to hear his voice talk to him and see where is head and heart are at this week. SELFISH! Instead we just get to worry more and wait short of getting in the car and driving up to Ben Lomond.

I keep looking for the silver or bronze (I will even take gray) lining and I am not seeing it right now. Laughing feels wrong when something is funny - watch out here comes another doozie. I can't be creative because it just feels wrong to do something you might enjoy. Thank goodness for Wednesday nights and friends who validate you.

Jeff moved out this past weekend... that is good I guess except he is broke and being sued... No surprise there. I am dog sitting for a friend and the dog soaked the carpet with the biggest doggy pee pee every. Why she didn't use the dog door that she always uses is a mystery to me. And she has a sore doggy paw from skidding on the cement in the backyard while swimming and chasing her tennis ball. Then there is this entire Tennis thing where I was surprised fired my tennis team..... It is just tennis and I keep meaning to post my email response just for entertainment purposes. The worst part is you find out what you thought was friendship after 10 years is not friendship.

I don't believe things come in threes (3). I have heard it said that these trails build characters, that God does not give you more than you can handle. Maybe that is true for God but what if the devil gets in there? He sure seems to be dishing out a lot of UGLY.

as the quiet music plays in the background and we have a happy ending.... NOT... Now you know why I have not been blogging. If you don't have anything positive to say than don't say it. I kept waiting for some really good stuff and I know it is there. I need Dr. Phil or Oprah or just to get it out there... No matter what for anyone who reads these ramblings. Don't be sad, mad or glad for these things. Just be aware - be happy and do the right darn thing. Don't lie, Don't think you can handle it on your own, pick up the phone call your parents, let the dog out at 5 am to go pee pee when she whines, be a true friend.. and just do your best to do the right thing. I know I/we are all works in progress.

Feeling it

yep, sad, blue a little depressed. As a friend of mine said about Meghan's OB in the paper - 27 years and you get a couple of paragraphs written about you at the end of the day. I guess that is true about all of us no matter when we die. Then it is up to your family to write those couple of paragraphs about you and your life, if they choose to, then again maybe there is no family left. Maybe we should all write our own before we go.

Leaving for Santa Cruz and Ben Lomond EARLY on Thursday. Jeff, is driving up on his own (Mr. environmental) seems he does not want to spend 8 hours in the car with his parents - prefers his own company. Of course I am the DRAMA QUEEN around her since I suggested that we stay the extra day in Ben Lomond to celebrate his 32nd birthday on Saturday. But after living at home for the past 3 years (now there is a big hurry) it seems this weekend is the only weekend left to go look for an apartment and move out by September 1. I am the mama, I gave birth to him, I have the stretch marks to show what 9lbs 6 oz will do to you and I brought him into this world naturally (what in hell was I thinking)! Even Michael, said it would be nice to have Jeff's birthday the next day. I think so too. Let this family spend some time together, make some new memories and start some healing. What do I know? I think even at this age you can go into MOM MODE and the last thing they want is a mom!

Yep, just feeling it. Maybe I will get 2 and 1/2 paragraphs in the end....s

To Be Continued....

Makes you wonder what is next, how the plot will change if the hero and heroine make it out alive, if everyone lives happily ever after. Life is NOT a 30 or 120 minute TV show or something you see on the big screen, not everyone lives happily ever after and for sure it takes more than TV or the length of a move to figure out life and what is next. AHHHH! Reality bites and hurts. after 2 days at home it feels like New Jersey was a life time ago. The best invention ever made the camera. Memories captured on film or a tiny card saved on a cd.... these are a few of my Jersey Shore memories...

New Jersey Shore

We are back safe and sound from a great trip to the Jersey Shore - Seaside Park. Home for a few days in my own bed with Gracie by my side. Great pictures to share and stories too. But for now all that has to wait while the laundry gets done and a trip to the market for a little food. Packing our bags again to head up North for Meghan's Celebration of Life this Thursday.

Meghan and Michael Oahu May 2007

Meghan Long Beach Aquarium January 2008.

Back on the Bucket List

Road Trip we leave this afternoon to go see our Michael in Ben Lomond. I don't know if we need to see him more than he needs to see us... but we are going. We just need to all be together for awhile. Jeff, drove up last night about 10 p.m. (another mom worry -driving 8 hours that late at night) but he wanted to be with his brother and didn't want to wait and drive up with us. Niagara Falls has been cancelled and put back on the bucket list for another day and time. We are still going to do the New Jersey week at the shore and leave next Saturday. Continental really gigged us on the pricing to change flights what was reasonable is now OUTRAGEOUS. But the house at the shore was already paid for and Rich really feels he needs the time away - So off we go to TROPICAL New Jersey... it does say that in their state travel brochure right? Right now the thought is that Meghans celebration will be August 14.

Off to pack some clean ones... and prepare for a looonnnnnggg (long) car ride. Love the spousal bonding time...

NOT. Am I to old for car games to keep me occupied? Love - God Bless

Meghan

For the friends and family that read this blog and send us all the hope, prayers and good wishes for Meghan, our Michael and her family. Our Michael called this morning in gut wrenching tears and repeating over and over how sorry he was.... Meghan took her last breath early this morning July 27th at about 1:30 am. He told me she was no longer in pain and he and her family were with her and that they got to say good bye. Meghan was 27.

At the fair on Saturday I did something I have never done before. I had a henna tattoo of an octopus put on my left ankle to wear to represent Meghan. When Michael and Meghan went to Oahu a few years ago they purchased an amazing little octopus necklace for her. It looks more like a piece of art than jewelry. That octopus had become my symbol for Meghan and Michael to as a couple. Art, Love, Memories, Vacation, Ocean, Fighters

Strength and so much more...

Continued prayers. Thank you to everyone - we know you will carry Meghan, Michael and her family in your hearts today. Hug someone today and do it more than once and let someone hug you too.