I AM NOT READY

I am not ready = I am not ready. I am not ready and if I am not ready - Rich really must not be ready... or Kevin true honesty. I AM NOT READY for what is coming up in the next couple of weeks or months. But was Jesus ready when he went to the cross??? Profound... But please keep me sane!!!! AMEN...

SHOCKING a NEW POST

Not even sure if anyone ever checks here or looks to see what is new at the ISLAND. I was going to do a new BLOG with my IMAC - seriously to much work. With Rich getting ready for his second bone marrow transplant and needing to keep people updated... I thought better for now to just update this good ole - good enough for now blog. SHOCKING I know that I blogged.

Rich starts out patient chemo next Monday for 5 days. Checks into the City of Hope on Saturday for heavy chemo and gets the bone marrow transplant on Tuesday or Wednesday. October 26th or 27th.

His brother KEVIN is giving him the gift of a life time. He is a match and will be Rich's donner. Thank God for Kevin and a brother willing to not only give but drive from the central coast, be tested, poked, prodded, and harvested and probably feel like he has the flu for a couple of days.

Love to all or anyone still tuned into this blog. We will be doing updates here and letting everyone know Rich's progress and that the HYLAND'S' ISLAND Blog is back in action....

BIRTHDAY MONTH

Gosh I guess I have been MIA or living life or something. Why now Why this moment. Who knows just feeling somethings and thinking things that I am not sure what to do with and what I can do or where I can go to express myself. So I am putting them out there in the universe in cyber land! CRAZY. Anyway just sitting here at the computer getting ready to head towards my pillow and feeling profound overwhelmed feelings. Squeezed my fingers between my eyes and almost sobbed. In lieu of sobbing I am putting my fingers to work on the keyboard! My heart tells me things are about to get crazy again. Why can we not get away from the CANCER wheel? Hubby does not have cancer but he now has low white counts and not enough platelets. All a direct result of all his cancer treatments. We may be looking at a second bone marrow transplant this year... I just want to scream NO NO NO... I don't want to be a poor me/us, cry baby or be THOSE PEOPLE again... The worst thing right now is the mental part for Rich. I see the wheels turning I see doubt, discomfort and uncertainty - just pop into his brain. He does not even have to say anything. I will deal with this again - I will do what I need to do when I need to do it. This is my cyber land contract with myself. All this has nothing to do with my birthday except to wonder what it will be like next year. Truly, I feel like I have finally come out of the last transplant and the passing of Meghan. Mentally and physical feeling like - yes - life is feeling normal again (whatever that is). Thanks to all my friends and Church family and family.... we will get through this again and now I am crying.... Just sprinkling really. xoxoxo