Life goes on...

Yep, it seems to be going on all around me. July was a difficult month and August - did August even happen? It went by so very fast. Have not felt much like blogging, or sharing. Sad mostly I feel sad. Sad that people have to be selfish and self centered. That as a society most people just don't care about you, your life or much else. Just another dumb human taking up my space. My space at the market, on the freeway, at a restaurant. EXCUSE ME! and accidents are a thing of the past. You just know the person did whatever the offense was on purpose. Don't even try and explain anything to anyone you don't know personally or they look at you like you have antennas' and a third eye in the middle of your forehead. I don't want to be a whiner right now... but then again I want to whine so much and scream at what I feel are little injustices in my life and those around me. We all have them. Truly, I want to bury my head under my pillows and come up for air sometime next year.

Why... Jeff had a little (very little) not even what I would call a fender bender the other day and within 5 days his insurance adjuster calls says the lady (which is really just a whore in another way) is suing you. Here are the facts as I know them. Jeff looked down at the GPS to see what off ramp he needed to get off at, traffic on the 91 by the 605 was stopped. He rolled into the car in front of him breaking a piece of plastic off of his Scion (as you know these Scions are like air and will dent in heavy dew) and her car had no damage..... OH BUT she was Asian with an accent - told Jeff she was FINE, in broken english as she here's the ring of a slot machine paying off in her ears.. (money money money JACKPOT). NOW tells the insurance company Jeff was going 60 MPH when he plowed into her.... UGH.. all the ugly nerve of people like her, it is a good thing I don't know who she is or I would trim her bushes... REALLY... does she not believe in science YOU CAN NOT BE GOING 60 MPH hit a stopped object and not have DAMAGE to the vehicles... where did she go to high school

- YOUNG DUMB DANG!

Maybe I should not be spewing but today is my day to COMPLAIN and SPEW hoping this will all make me feel better.... ! not working yet. Then there is this little issue with my niece CASSIE. The one who stole money from my mom is having sex with a boy who has a man penis and no brain to back it up, killed the cat and basically at 15 does what ever she wants and my mom lets her because she is FRAGILE.... Today I was informed she is cutting her self... SELFISH... of course my mom will not call me back. Oh and next Cassie will be putting my mom in her grave. GOD WHY? I say intervention NOW... I guess this is my way of telling my mom and the world these people need HELP...! Mom call me you are 73 and doing the best any senior citizen can do with teenagers and 5 to 7 other people living in your house. This is what happens when there are no boundaries. Guess who gets to clean up the mess if my mom has a stroke and dies... ME.... is that not selfish my mom would expect me to clean up her mess when she dies but she won't do it herself NOW.

Then there is our Michael Paul.. the kid at 28 has been through so much and grieving. Tomorrow is Meghans 28th birthday. Going to be a very hard day. We must have 6 to 8 calls into the guy - we just want to hear his voice talk to him and see where is head and heart are at this week. SELFISH! Instead we just get to worry more and wait short of getting in the car and driving up to Ben Lomond.

I keep looking for the silver or bronze (I will even take gray) lining and I am not seeing it right now. Laughing feels wrong when something is funny - watch out here comes another doozie. I can't be creative because it just feels wrong to do something you might enjoy. Thank goodness for Wednesday nights and friends who validate you.

Jeff moved out this past weekend... that is good I guess except he is broke and being sued... No surprise there. I am dog sitting for a friend and the dog soaked the carpet with the biggest doggy pee pee every. Why she didn't use the dog door that she always uses is a mystery to me. And she has a sore doggy paw from skidding on the cement in the backyard while swimming and chasing her tennis ball. Then there is this entire Tennis thing where I was surprised fired my tennis team..... It is just tennis and I keep meaning to post my email response just for entertainment purposes. The worst part is you find out what you thought was friendship after 10 years is not friendship.

I don't believe things come in threes (3). I have heard it said that these trails build characters, that God does not give you more than you can handle. Maybe that is true for God but what if the devil gets in there? He sure seems to be dishing out a lot of UGLY.

as the quiet music plays in the background and we have a happy ending.... NOT... Now you know why I have not been blogging. If you don't have anything positive to say than don't say it. I kept waiting for some really good stuff and I know it is there. I need Dr. Phil or Oprah or just to get it out there... No matter what for anyone who reads these ramblings. Don't be sad, mad or glad for these things. Just be aware - be happy and do the right darn thing. Don't lie, Don't think you can handle it on your own, pick up the phone call your parents, let the dog out at 5 am to go pee pee when she whines, be a true friend.. and just do your best to do the right thing. I know I/we are all works in progress.

Feeling it

yep, sad, blue a little depressed. As a friend of mine said about Meghan's OB in the paper - 27 years and you get a couple of paragraphs written about you at the end of the day. I guess that is true about all of us no matter when we die. Then it is up to your family to write those couple of paragraphs about you and your life, if they choose to, then again maybe there is no family left. Maybe we should all write our own before we go.

Leaving for Santa Cruz and Ben Lomond EARLY on Thursday. Jeff, is driving up on his own (Mr. environmental) seems he does not want to spend 8 hours in the car with his parents - prefers his own company. Of course I am the DRAMA QUEEN around her since I suggested that we stay the extra day in Ben Lomond to celebrate his 32nd birthday on Saturday. But after living at home for the past 3 years (now there is a big hurry) it seems this weekend is the only weekend left to go look for an apartment and move out by September 1. I am the mama, I gave birth to him, I have the stretch marks to show what 9lbs 6 oz will do to you and I brought him into this world naturally (what in hell was I thinking)! Even Michael, said it would be nice to have Jeff's birthday the next day. I think so too. Let this family spend some time together, make some new memories and start some healing. What do I know? I think even at this age you can go into MOM MODE and the last thing they want is a mom!

Yep, just feeling it. Maybe I will get 2 and 1/2 paragraphs in the end....s

To Be Continued....

Makes you wonder what is next, how the plot will change if the hero and heroine make it out alive, if everyone lives happily ever after. Life is NOT a 30 or 120 minute TV show or something you see on the big screen, not everyone lives happily ever after and for sure it takes more than TV or the length of a move to figure out life and what is next. AHHHH! Reality bites and hurts. after 2 days at home it feels like New Jersey was a life time ago. The best invention ever made the camera. Memories captured on film or a tiny card saved on a cd.... these are a few of my Jersey Shore memories...

New Jersey Shore

We are back safe and sound from a great trip to the Jersey Shore - Seaside Park. Home for a few days in my own bed with Gracie by my side. Great pictures to share and stories too. But for now all that has to wait while the laundry gets done and a trip to the market for a little food. Packing our bags again to head up North for Meghan's Celebration of Life this Thursday.

Meghan and Michael Oahu May 2007

Meghan Long Beach Aquarium January 2008.