Back on the Bucket List

Road Trip we leave this afternoon to go see our Michael in Ben Lomond. I don't know if we need to see him more than he needs to see us... but we are going. We just need to all be together for awhile. Jeff, drove up last night about 10 p.m. (another mom worry -driving 8 hours that late at night) but he wanted to be with his brother and didn't want to wait and drive up with us. Niagara Falls has been cancelled and put back on the bucket list for another day and time. We are still going to do the New Jersey week at the shore and leave next Saturday. Continental really gigged us on the pricing to change flights what was reasonable is now OUTRAGEOUS. But the house at the shore was already paid for and Rich really feels he needs the time away - So off we go to TROPICAL New Jersey... it does say that in their state travel brochure right? Right now the thought is that Meghans celebration will be August 14.

Off to pack some clean ones... and prepare for a looonnnnnggg (long) car ride. Love the spousal bonding time...

NOT. Am I to old for car games to keep me occupied? Love - God Bless

Meghan

For the friends and family that read this blog and send us all the hope, prayers and good wishes for Meghan, our Michael and her family. Our Michael called this morning in gut wrenching tears and repeating over and over how sorry he was.... Meghan took her last breath early this morning July 27th at about 1:30 am. He told me she was no longer in pain and he and her family were with her and that they got to say good bye. Meghan was 27.

At the fair on Saturday I did something I have never done before. I had a henna tattoo of an octopus put on my left ankle to wear to represent Meghan. When Michael and Meghan went to Oahu a few years ago they purchased an amazing little octopus necklace for her. It looks more like a piece of art than jewelry. That octopus had become my symbol for Meghan and Michael to as a couple. Art, Love, Memories, Vacation, Ocean, Fighters

Strength and so much more...

Continued prayers. Thank you to everyone - we know you will carry Meghan, Michael and her family in your hearts today. Hug someone today and do it more than once and let someone hug you too.

Last Week and VBS

Sawdust Festival Laguna Beach

...

VBS- Kelly and Cassie with Kelly's group. One set of twins and one set of triplets in her group.

Kelly's handprint t-shirt... So CUTE!

Wow, what a week! It was fun, busy, memorable and GONE... yep, another week of this year, of this month, in the books. Another chapter of life complete. Last Sunday we said good bye to Kevin, Danni and Michael, after visting Crystal Cove and the Sawdust Festival and celebrating those July birthdays. Then it was off to Toms Farms to pick up Kelly and get ready for VBS- Vacation Bible School (Cassie joined us at VBS on Tuesday). It is probably best to put the week in pictures rather than words. So here are a few.

Because Blogger/Apple is so PICKY I am going to do this in stages it won't let me move the pictures around in the proper order once I upload them.

JULY

July... I wonder if anyone ever named their baby JULY... I have heard of SUMMER but you don't hear JULY to often as some one's name.... I have heard of June and August for girls. July could be male or female!

I have nothing new to report on Meghan since someone and some bodies including our Michael don't feel the need to keep us as informed as we would like to be kept. We don't know but assume she is still in the hospital and it feels awkward calling her family. Michael went to the hospital to see her on Sunday - last report we had. Ended up talking to her parents in the parking lot and never went up to see Meghan. This leaves me baffled since he has never not gone up to see her after her countless treatments and surgeries. Continued Prayers for her parents, and for Meghan's spirit and light, her wisdom, understanding, love, that she be free pain that the medications work. And for her medical team.

Numerous messages have been left for Michael on Meghan's phone and his new phone (we think he got his replacement phone in the mail after the old one was stolen). AHHHH! what is a mom to do I just want to know that he is coping and to hear his voice is always reassuring. Don't they understand MOM thinking?

GOOD NEWS - Rich went for his CT scans last week to the City of Hope and all is good. THANK GOD. As he says he has a pass till late October before he has to go check in with the COH doctors again.

The rest of July looks to be busy! Kevin and the kids come this weekend to celebrate July and August birthdays. They will be here through Sunday. Kelly and Cassie come on Sunday for Vacation Bible School all next week. Saturday July 25th is the HYLANDS ISLAND MILLION DOLLAR DINNER EXPERIENCE. Then it is time for vacation on that tropical moist island of New Jersey.

Stay Cool out there...! Thanks for your continued prayers...

ENJOY.

Hylands Island July

I have always loved the month of July. Michael's Birthday, Rich's Birthday, his brother Kevin's Birthday, Summer time, the 4th of July. July 2009 is showing itself to be very unsettling and messing with my personal security and freedom (no pun intended). Our Michael had his car broken into up in Santa Cruz, they broke a window stole his wallet with ATM card and drivers license and managed to charge and drain his account of $800.00 before he even knew his truck had been broken into. They also took his cell phone, extra keys for the truck (don't we all leave our extras locked inside the car) and his clothes. Poor guy had to drive home in his wet suit. This is all done days before his birthday. Which brings me to the next update.... Meghan goes into the hospital the same day for pain management and to be drained from her ascites (fluid retention from the liver not working). Meghan remains in the hospital and there is no good news. Her mother is on 24 hour vigil at the hospital and our Michael goes there 3 or more times a day while working to stop in and say hi and give her a kiss and he mostly finds her resting or sleeping. She has been so sick and throwing up constantly that they put some type of pump in her stomach. They have stopped giving her fluids..... July July July! Prayers for peace and that understanding that surpasses all others. I don't understand - I can't give Michael, Meghan's family or myself the words to help us cope. I know many of you continue to pray and we thank you. I need to go now and write a letter to Meghan which I am not sure she will ever read. One thing the Hyland's are absorbing from all this is you have to do WHAT IS IN AND ON YOUR HEART. Love to all, thanks to everyone for their love, support and caring.

Don't cry because it is over - smile because it happened... Dr. Seuss

A mothers/Friend letter to her son

June 17, 2009

Dearest Son:

From the moment you were born it has always been our desire that you know happiness and love. As a child we did our best to keep you from harm and hurt. We would do anything within our power to keep you from suffering the grief and loss you are undoubtedly about to go through with Meghan. Although Michael, this will be a difficult time I just want to share with you a little advise, consider it not from your mom but from an older wiser friend who loves and cares for you very much (as does your mother). We just want to help you through this time and it is very important for you to let us help you. Not only Dad, Jeff and myself, but your friends too.

Meghan has a profound and far reaching effect on us, our family and most certainly our friends. When I see the Bunco ladies the first thing they ask is “how is Meghan –how is Michael”. You both have been in the hearts and countless prayers of our friends both new and old. She has made a difference in there life in more ways than either one of you will ever know. Once she passes and goes to heaven both of you will continue to touch lives by example. WOW! What I am trying to say Michael is you have us, Meghan’s family, and countless people that need to know you are coping and dealing.

We are so proud of the man you are. With the prayers and help of God you will help Meghan in these final days. I know how weak and incapable you must feel and that you don’t want to be strong but you are strong and capable – you know what you are made of and you know what is inside of you. Mike, you need to tell this beautiful soul that you will live the rest of your life to honor her, her love, courage and bravery. She knows in the depth of her being what is happening and yet she probably feels like she is letting everyone who loves her down. It is so important to her and to you that you have all the love and memories locked away in your mind and heart or written down. You will need these last days and conversations to last a lifetime here on earth for you.

There is no right way to go down the road you know you will go down with someone who is dying. In my attempts to be sure you know that although this is tragic, it is also an honor. That at the end of the day, you got everything out of this journey. I have enclosed a couple of pages from a few books. The experts can express themselves much better than your mom/friend.

Quote from the book Final Gifts- Though it can be grief- and stress laden, death can occur in a context of completion and closure. After going through a death this way, many people say This may have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so glad I did it or The only thing that really helps me now that she’s gone is that she knew, as I do, that I did everything I could for her”

You need to reassure her that you Michael will be all right. Share with her what you maybe thinking and planning, reassure her you will be okay. Part of the process of getting to the next part of the journey for Meghan is the anxiety for those she is leaving behind, their sadness and grief and that she wants to be remembered. I know people remembering her is very important to her.

We will probably never talk to Meghan again – although we would like nothing more than to see her or talk to her again to tell her thank you… Sincerely thanks…. Thanks for loving you our son, the memories and the life lessons she has taught and shared with you. To thank her for growing up with you these last 9 years. Tell her thanks for your favorite “couple” song that 20 years from now when your driving in the car and you hear YOUR song on the radio you will still stop and think of her. Ask her Mike how she wants you to celebrate her birthday this year, so when that day comes you will feel like she is with you – where would she go if she could go anywhere in the world and tell her you will live your life trying to get there.

I am sending this book with Jeff, for you. I am not recommending you read the entire book, but I am recommending that you thumb through the contents and read what applies now. Michael what I have read so far is very powerful that helps some of those questions and curiosities in our mind take on answers and give us reason and purpose of understanding into these final days. Michael, a little information will go along way in insuring that you are listening, enjoying and understanding Meghan these next couple of days or months. Yes, asking God for his spirit, wisdom and endurance will also give you great strength and guidance. Just ask him and you will be amazed.

Dad and I our here to talk with you, listen to you, here your fears and offer whatever wisdom we may have. Michael, when you need us we will be there in a heart beat. Please keep us informed! Again we love you, we love Meghan!

In our prayers and we continue to pray for that miracle – in whatever form that miracle is going to take.

Aloha

Mom